QuestionHi,
I am 40 and single.
I have been dating R for 8 months now.
When we first met, 3 years ago, we became friends. I was attracted to her back then; many times wanting to be near her and with her. I was attracted to her mind, independence, occupation, good heart.
8 months ago she agreed to date. I have been having a difficult time since then.
Although I was attracted to her as I wrote above, I have a problem with sexual attraction.
When I encounter other women, just seeing them pass by on a street, I get this painful feeling that they are women I am attracted to and R does not attract me so. This feeling happens to me maybe 5 times each day.
When I masturbate, it is much easier for me when I think of other women, who look more attractive to
me.
While we do not engage in full intercourse, I am able to perform when we are in bed together (though it may take long) but I do not feel much enthusiasm about it. When we go to bed ,all I would like is to hug and fall asleep.
Many evenings, I would rather spend alone than with her.
I also do not actually feel much love but I do think that deep inside there is some love. (I have never felt much love that lasted long in previous relationships).
R loves me and want us to marry.
Would you consider it wrong for me to marry her?
Is it wrong to marry a woman when sexual attraction is low relative to other women?
Thank You very much.
O
AnswerHi Ofer~
If you aren't really attracted to her, then perhaps it's not the best thing to marry her after all. You shouldn't feel that you have to marry her b/c she wants to marry you. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up for wanting to be with other women later down the road. Which isn't a good situation to put yourself in. Especially if you aren't IN love with her or attracted very much to her.
It's probably best that you just take the relationship one day at a time and see where it goes. If your feelings change in time, and you do feel you really, honestly love her and become more attracted to her, then you can consider marrying her.
