QuestionI am stuck in the middle of my sister's marriage. My brother in-law is asking me for advice and I have no clue what to do. My sister Kimmy is cheating on Mike, they have two children. Mike her husband is trying to make things work and I just overheard my mom talking about how if the marriage lasts for 10 years my sister is entitled to half of his pension, they will be married for 10 years after this coming June. My sister has been coming to my house and dumping the kids off on our parents while she goes to this new guys house. This is the second marriage in which she cheated on her husband. She got away with it the first time and now I do not want for her to do the same thing to her current husband, he is a nice guy and doesn't deserve the expense she is going to cause him. If he files for divorce right away will she still be entitled to his pension? Also if I get proof of her cheating will that help in court in any way or will it just hurt her husband further, he does not know about her cheating.
AnswerHi Stephanie~
He needs to know that she's cheating on him. Of course, it'll crush him when he hears this, but he has a right to know. No one told me that my husband was cheating on me and everyone else knew around me (his friends, co-workers, etc). I had a sneaking suspicion but no proof of it (not that I really needed it anyway, it was just a gut feeling that something wasn't right), and had wished someone would've stepped up and told me. Some ppl would be grateful, others they might react differently such as being defensive, angry, offended, etc. You have to get it out there and he has to know what's going on. Your sister ought to be ashamed of herself. Any proof that you can get for him so that he believes you would be a plus. Courts don't care if adultery has taken place in a marriage, they only care about the reason as to why they need to dissolve the marriage. There are very few states that even use adultery as a reason for a divorce, and with that, they want proof of it. The reason that almost all states don't recognize adultery as a reason for a divorce is due to adultery being hard to prove and it's one persons word against the other.
As for her being entitled to his pension, yes, typically it's 10 yrs of marriage or more to be entitled to a portion of a pension/ira/retirement, etc. He needs to file now or ASAP to prevent her from getting it. There is about a 50-50 chance she'll get that anyway, it's whatever they can decide and agree upon in the divorce proceedings. She'll also be entitled to 50% of everything property wise that they incurred in their marriage, this means house, cars, furniture, personal property, etc. I hope this helps you some.
