QuestionHello,
I am Viral, a 21 year old engineering student from India. There is one question that I constantly think about. I am someone who has high ambitions and I would love to make a difference in peoples lives and thereby contribute something to society. I have high regards for people who are achievers. So is it important for me to look for a life partner with such qualities. Back in India I do not meet highly motivated people with a lot of self-belief. So how important is it for me to find someone who is highly motivated to achieve something in her life. Please reply, thank you.
AnswerDear Viral,
Thank you for contacting allexperts.com I hope that I can assist you with your question.
Being a young man, full of life's enthusiasms it is understandable that you seek a mate who shares your desire to achieve. Naturally you would want someone who shares your values and your interests with regard to making a difference in people's lives.
Keep in mind, however, that everything has a negative side as well as a positive side. A woman who shares your enthusiasm and drive will have a strong personality and most likely be willful and perhaps stubborn. A woman such as this might feel competitive toward you and resentful if she does not "win" or come out "on top" when you have disagreements or conflict.
Keep in mind also that a woman with these attributes will insist on having her own life apart from yours. She will have her own interests and friends and will not put you as a priority in her life. If you share common interests, that will help somewhat.
Keep in mind also that there is nothing wrong with a woman who has domestic interests and enjoys caring for a home, husband and family. There is nothing better than to come home from a stressful day to a warm, nurturing, loving atmosphere that has been created by your wife. Your wife can share your interests and support you without competing with you for being successful and a high achiever.
It is my strong opinion (you many not agree), that the happiest marriages are the ones where the man works and the wife stays home and takes care of the home/children. This is the model that has been followed by countless civilizations for many thousands of years on this planet. It is not until the 20th century that women decided that they were "too good" to be housewives and mothers. As a result, the divorce rate in the US (and elsewhere, I expect), is at the highest level in history.
Of course, the choice is yours, and if you feel that you must marry a person with strong, willful ways that is fine. But again remember that for every positive factor there is a negative factor to consider also. Right now, being quite young, but as you mature your values and desires may change. At some point in your life the idea of a domestic partner might prove more attractive to you. I suggest that you wait at least four or five years before choosing a life partner. That way you will have more life experience to help you decide the right person.
Best of luck to you Viral for future happiness.
R. M. French
