QuestionIv been with my common law for almost 9 years. We are 25 yrs old. We have a 2 yr old and i am 7 months pregnant. I admit we fight alot and at times i want to just run away and feel i cant do it any more. But i do keep trying to talk and make appointments to see councilors. He wont go. When I confront him he yells at me and finds every excuse in the world to avoid talking to me. Today he told me its over. I cant except that. Should i just move on or do you think there is something out there that i could do to change his mind about us. I want to save this family more than anything, and i am willing to fight to the end to make it work. Please help. Thanks, amanda
AnswerDear Amanda,
First, I want you to make sure you are common law. There are very few states that recognize common law marriages. visit unmarried.org and equalityinmarriage.org for more info on what your rights are if you are common law.
If you are not common law, he will still be held accountable for child support and he will have custody rights. He, however, may not be required to pay you any alimony or have share any other assets.
If counseling is not up his ally then there are some great books- "Divorce Busting" by Michele Weiner Davis, "12 Hours to a great Marriage" by Markman and "World Class Marriage" by Howell/ Jones.
There are also marriage retreats- www.smartmarriages.com for a state/ city listings.
Marriage is hard work and if you feel you have done all that you can then you have done your best and you can let your children know this when they ask you.
I hope this was helpful.
