QuestionDear S. Kessler-
Thank you for looking at my question.
My boyfriend of two years wants me to move n with him. I have always thought I would wait until at least engaged to move in together. When I brought this up to him, he said he wasn't ready for that and didn't know when he would be. He also said he would not have asked me to move in with him if we weren't heading in that direction. I'm very confused. I love him, want to marry him and want to live with him but I can't help but wonder: why does he want me to move in but not committ beyond that? what is wrong with me if after to years he isn't ready? we haven't had any major issues. He says he's never felt this way before, that he wants to be with me but he is afraid to get married. I don't understand and when I tried to talk to him urther about it he acted like I was trying to give him an ultimatum (sp?) so I dropped it. Help!
AnswerHi Holly~
Maybe he wants to see if you're both compatible once living together. You truly don't know a person until you've lived with them for a period of time (at least 3 months), to find out how they really are as a person. That's been my experience at least.
Perhaps he's pondered the notion of marriage, but he's just not quite ready for it yet, either. Hence, the biggest reason he wants you to move in with him (goes along with the part I mentioned earlier on compatiblity and living together under the same roof).
At this point I don't think you should worry about it that much. I would if you've lived together for a year or more and he's made no mention of becoming engaged and then married. Only then would I question his intentions of just staying in the relationship and not wanting to get married. Then you should start to doubt his commitment to you, an engagement and finally marriage, etc.
