QuestionOk. I'm having issues in my marriage right now, and I believe it is breaking us apart. I seriously need an outsider's point of view because I have not seeked any advise from loved ones or friends based on pure embarassment. I have been married to my husband for 10 years, I was 17 and he was 19 when we married. We have 2 girls together.
I have discovered that my husband is infactuated with the female body. I have discovered things that he does and over the years it has added up and I am at my wits end and I want it to stop. As you can imagine, after ten years there has been a large history, so to keep things simple, i want to compile a list of my biggest complaints.
-he collects nude magazines that are stacked in safe places in our bedroom. He will not end the subscription because he has that right. He has "favorites" that he has for quick grabbing at the top of those stacks and masturbates to them.
-he watches those cable soft porn shows when i'm right in the other room, and quickly changes it when i walk in (he thinks i don't notice). i have recently discovered that he wakes up extra early in the morning (5:30) to catch the last showings. I have actually walked in on that.
-he has had numerous searches for pictures and websites with naked celebrities. I have confronted him about this but he has now learned to erase the history of the computer, so who knows.
-he has his favorite celebrity girls, which he knows birthdays and events. he jokingly brings them up on a regular basis. i have too, told him this bothers me.
-looks at girls regularly in public
-at a club one time, began making eye contact with a girl numerous times in which i asked him to stop, but stated he was not doing anything wrong and kept on. (i still feel incredibly disrespected)
This has affected me terribly, to say the least. of course, he claims i am too sensitive, insecure, and immature and i need to change. i feel disgusted and i don't trust him. Not that i don't trust him betraying me, but with my heart, if that makes sense. I have allowed it to consume me, i can't stand to watch his favorite celebrites anymore, even though i used to enjoy them before. I don't feel he is turned on by ME, but just because there is a warm female body infront of him.
i have given him hell over this and all we do is argue. I need to know... am i completley crazy to feel this way and be resentful? i started to believe him when he says i'm insecure, but this is too much stuff!!!!! Please advise. Thank you in advance.
AnswerYour situation is too complicated for a short e-mail reply; 1-2 sessions are needed.
See my website if want to proceed.
Regards,
Dr. Joseph Abraham,
Online counseling, online marriage counseling, marriage counseling, relationship advice, life coach and management consulting
http://www.dr-joseph.com
http://www.dr-jo-consulting.com
