Addressing Lack of Intimacy in Marriage: Causes & Solutions

Question
QUESTION: My partner initially was quite intimate with me however, after marriage he does not kiss me; on the lips or anywhere for that matter. He doesn't seem to want to come near me even sitting next to him is a problem. When having sex he hides his face away from mine and just gets on with it there is no kissing its like I could be anyone to him. I feel unloved and used. I have been married for 10 years and have four children, its like I'm just getting on with life thats it and that how he is with me is normal. Can you shed any light on this predicament. Thank-you.

ANSWER: Hi Zakia~

That's definitely not normal behavior in a marriage or in any relationship for that matter.  He's insulting you by behaving this way.  Actions speak louder than words ever can.  You need to sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk with him.  He needs to know how this is affecting you.  And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage.  Anyone in this position would be upset and hurt over these actions.  It's like he might as well say "I'm not attracted to you anymore and I find you repulsive."  That's the same horrible reaction he's giving you when he doesn't respond to you physically, etc.  You need to talk to him and try to get to the bottom of this though.  He may have lost his attraction towards you and he just doesn't want to tell you, although he'll act it out. If this is the case, then you'll have to make some tough decisions on what you're going to do about this.  I hope this helps you some.

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QUESTION: Thanks. I hope my name will not be shown to others. Your answer was helpful.

Answer
Hi Zakia~

Anything that's not marked private (in asking questions) is public.  That means it'll show the questions, and names (of the questioners).  It's not something that I can change.  And it never shows email addresses either, so no expert can see email addresses, they are kept private.