QuestionQUESTION: hi i have been in love with a guy for 3yrs and we recently broke up though he wants me back and goes around telling each and everybody about our past personal life. i dint bother much about it because i ve had enough with him and his tortures . now i ve fallen in love with another guy for the past 5 months everything was fine even his parents know about our love but suddenly 2 days back his parents came to know about my affair i don't know what to do they are very conservative unlike my lover who accepted me with all my faults i really love my lovers parents a lot i am so confused i sometimes feel like i ve spoilt my lovers life even feel like going away from him though i love him a lot more than my life
ANSWER: Hi Maggi,
It is simple enough. If it bothers them they will mention it.
Until then, there is no need to create worry about it.
I do not see why you would worry about them. I'm sure they understand that you may have had someone in the past before meeting their son.
Unless there is something you haven't told me, this seems innocent enough.
kind regards,
Don.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: its just that they had a elder son is away from them and they have an idea that his younger son ie. my lover if he marry's one of their daughter in laws cousin their family wound bond back together.
another thing that my boyfriend recently revealed to me was that he had been in love with a girl 3 years back and he loved her so much but she didn't love him. but recently 2 months back she has called him up and told that she loves him . and the worst thing is she is a cousin of his sister in law...
ANSWER: Hi Maggi,
I'm really sorry. I read your follow up several times, but cannot seem to understand exactly what you mean. Perhaps you read it over and make it more clear and resend it
kind regards,
don.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: its just that they had a elder son and he is not with them now.he has fought with them and gone away, so they have an idea that his younger son ie. my lover if he marry's one of their daughter in laws cousin their family wound bond back together.
another thing that my boyfriend recently revealed to me was that he had been in love with a girl 3 years back and he loved her so much but she didn't love him. but recently 2 months back she has called him up and told that she loves him . and the worst thing is she is a cousin of his sister in law...so there are chances that they might get my boyfriend married to that girl just to bond the family back.
i trust my guy but still he seems to be so confused which is scaring me
AnswerHi Maggi,
This gets more complicated by the minute. I am beginning to feel that there are too many people involved in your love affair to make any sense of it. I don't understand how the parents can "get your boyfriend to marry that to bond the family back".
Is this a case of the parents deciding who marries who? Are you are your boyfriend able to choose who you wish to be with? I am at a bit of a loss because this is very very complicated for me.
All I can say is that if you love him, and he loves you, the both of you should be looking at the best way to be happy together. If this is made impossible by other factors out of your control, then move to a place where these factors will not be an issue. If your relationship is meant to be, it will work out. If one of you is nt strong enough to filter out the elements that can cause distress to your couple, then you risk not ever being able to be happy together. You need to sit with your man and discuss this with him. Find out how strongly both of you feel that you can fight off the outside elements to become happy together. If you both feel the same way, then form a bond of your own, and be a couple that acts as one to any outside force.
All this stuff about what others think and what the parents may or may not do should have no bearing on the fundamentals of your love for him and his love for you. That is the starting point for both of you. If that is strong enough, you'll manage to make your way through this vortex of waves from the family and find your little island of happiness.
I hope this helps,
Don.
