Navigating In-Law Relationships: A New Parent's Perspective

Question
I've been married for a little over one year.  My husband and I are expecting our first baby in March (8 more weeks away to be exact). I am not sure if this makes a difference however, I am Irish and Lithuanian decent and my husband is 100% Italian - his parents are right off the boat from Italy.  His mother/father have been a constant issue and I can honestly say that we only fight over them.  Granted I made a HUGE mistake and my husband and I moved in upstairs from them about 2 1/2 years ago.  I've seen first hand how his parents manipulate situations and lie with my husbands brother and his wife. His parents caused a problem between their sons and wives causing us not to talk for almost 8 months.  Our lastest episode that I am trying to deal with is my husband asked my brother to be our childs godparent (and I had already asked my sister to be the baby's godmother)  His parents got wind of it and threated to 1) not watch the baby once I go back to work 2) if he "goes ahead with this" they won't come to the christening and my personal favorite 3) "we're a disgrace to the family and if he went ahead with this we were out of the family".  I have NEVER been so disrespected in my life.  Granted this was all said directly to my husband and nothing was said to me.  They manipulated that situation (again) and my husband has decided to make his brother the godfather and in essence kick my brother to the curb.  His brother even came to the house and threaten that we would be out of the family if my brother was the godfather.  maybe that's how his family gets things done - but i am digusted.  I lost that "wedding day feeling" when I look at my husband.  I am so hurt that I am not #1 in this marriage.  It's not the first time i've felt this way.  My husband and I agreed that we will move out once the baby is born and we've also agreed that his mother will not be watching the baby.  I am trying to work through this but I haven't spoken to his parents in almost a month and I feel like that song "i've lost that loving feeling".  how can i get passed this?  how can I make my husband make me and our child #1?  The worse thing is when he asked my brother to be the godfather he asked in front of my whole family - so now not only do i knwo where i stand in my marriage - but my whole family knows.....HELP!

Answer
Well...the idea of godparents is to balance the "honor" so one relative from each family is perhaps fair-er. Once you are out of the house and on your own, most of your problems will go away. People that are right of the boat have a stronger sense of tradition than there Americanized counterparts, thus the "I'm not standing for that or going to this" syndrome. There will be a lot of times in life where you'll loose that "wedding day feeling". Whether or not you get it back after the "event" will be a test of your marriage. Marriage is a balancing act of immense proportions and you're just getting started. The more you can talk through each obstacle and get some consensus before problems come up the better. Move out soon.

Bill