QuestionWe've been married for three years, second marriages for both of us. Out of the three years, my husband has only held temporary part time jobs and those I had to find for him. About two months ago, I spoke with him and asked him to please find a job because the bills were very overwhelming for me to pay alone. He claimed that he was thinking about getting his CDL driving license to drive trucks -- I said okay because if that's what he want, go for it. Fast forwarding to a month later (still jobless)-- his son (25 years old) is badly injured outside of a night club. Well, I understand that his son need him at the hospital, but now my husband is at the hospital 'to hold his hand' (yep, my husband said that) and thus the reason why he 'do not have time to look for a job' because he have to be at the hospital (he is there approx. 18 hours a day). I believe he is using his son as an excuse not to look for a job. I explained to my husband that I am getting sick trying to pay the bills alone. I explained to him that his son is out of danger and will recover from his injuries, but the bills are still coming in. He told me that I didn't care anything about his son's welfare and that I am being selfish. His son will need physical therapy when he leaves the hospital, and that will give his father (my husband) more ammunition for a reason not to find a job.
Am I being selfish to want to divorce him? When I speak to close friends and family about it, some say I am, others say I am not. Some say now is not a good time for him (because of his son) others say he should have had a job anyway.
I want out but don't want to seem selfish.
AnswerHi Pam,
I am concerned that he is not willing to hold a job in order to support his wife. This doesn't show very strong character.
You are walking a fine line with regards to his taking care of his son. You want to be supportive of his efforts to show compassion to his son, yet not allow him to take advantage of the situation. Just be careful that you are always showing concern, which I am sure you are.
As far as divorce goes...I always hesitate to advise this on matters that don't involve adultery or abuse, but I would say that if MY husband was being lazy and not wanting to work, I would have to give him some kind of ultimatum and insist on counseling. You will need to decide what you can or can't live with. If this is affecting your health, then you need to protect yourself.
You know, God can turn around any situation. I don't know if you are a born again believer or not, but the Bible does give us over 5000 promises in His Word to those who have made Jesus their Lord and walk in obedience to His Word...
In Christ,
Pastor Kim
GodsHealingPower.org
