QuestionSince
Oct my husband and I have been going through major issues and the 2 main ones
are he has had doubts about our relationship and he developed feelings for
another woman. I found out last night he asked this other woman ifat some point
in the future she would consider them more than :just friends" and she said no.
He now tells me that this goes back to the fact that he is fraid of losing me to
something out of his control like how he lost his mom to chancer when he was
15-he says we would rather lose me basically because of his screw ups then
something out ofhis control. He says he asked this lady about her feelings so
that he might know in the future if I was not around someone would be with him.
We have been together 10 1/2 years and he now just seems like a scared little
boy but I am at my wits end but still love him. He is starting his own therapy
on Monday-do I still wait around or is that unhealthy for me because I have put
up with so much."
AnswerDear Cara,
Your husband going to see a therapist is a step in the right direction. I am not a therapist or counselor so I cannot say whether his reasons are true. Ultimately you need to look at where you are and how much further you are willing to go. If you feel his intentions are on the up and up then perhaps you will want to see a counselor as well. Perhaps the two of you can go to marriage counseling or a marriage retreat while he does his individual counseling. You may also want to find out his intentions with the other woman. Does he still have feelings for her? Does he want to work on the marriage?
Asking another woman if she's willing to take your place and then leaving you? Why wouldn't he do the same to her in 5 , 10 years. His getting counseling is definitely a start but the two of you need to work out your role in his recovery and your future.
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful
