QuestionI do not know what to do. I think my husband has always had anger issues, but seems to take things out on me when he is stressed. For instance, he is either nice and happy and wants sex, or he is miserable and grouchy and insulting me. Like Dr. Jekyl. This weekend is a perfect example. My third grade daughter and I planned this huge halloween party, I killed myself cleaning, decorating, shopping....All he had to do was fix a couple lights in the basement. The night of the party, I was running around the house and when I came into the kitchen with a basement full of people, he is sulking on the couch complaining that there is nothing to eat! Fist of all, I ordered like 5 pizzas, salad and snack things. Did he want a 7 course meal with all the commotion of the party. is he kidding? Im looking at him in shock like your kidding. I felt like saying, why dont you get up and help me instead of worrying what your not getting? Unbelievable. Its almost as if he does it on purp0se to ruin my night out of jealousy. Like he isnt getting attention and Im having fun and he cant stand it! I mean just because he is unsociable, I am not. I love to entertain and thikngs like that he doesnt. Why would he even complain at the worst possible moment. I guess he later felt guilty he came down stairs to help with the pinata. I dont know, I think he has some type of abandomnent issues or something. I have so much anger towards him I dont even want him to touch me. How dare he insult me and try to run my night and the fun of my kids because of his babyish attitude@
AnswerHi Jennifer:
First, I'm betting that just writing this out may have helped you a little bit. I often find that there is some catharsis that occurs when people write or speak out their frustration. I hope you experienced the same.
Secondly, it seems as though your husband does have some insecurity issues. People typically in that position tend to bring others down to match where they believe they are.
The next time this happens, just gently but firmly ask him to help you. Give him a SPECIFIC task. Men respond better to tasks than to general requests. Often, getting him involved and participating will do wonders for the attitude.
Also, let him know how it makes you feel when this happens. Do so in a non-threatening manner. Something like, "When you don't help me with something that means alot to me, it makes me feel as though ......".
Keep your chin up and focus on the positive. You will maintain a greater peace of mind and set a great example for your daughter.
