Understanding Controlling Behavior: Is It Dependence or Manipulation?

Question
My husband is a big baby and mamas boy.We live three hours away from our parents and see them often, we see them less now because so much fighting happens when we go visit them. We wanna make the time for each parent equal yet it never turns out that way. My husband never wants to go visit parents unless his mother complains that she misses him then we travel to go see them right away! Yet when my parents comment about missing us he acts like whatever, he doesn't care. When my parents travel to our house to visit he throws a tantrum and complains that he doesn't want them to come up and that he will act rude or say something rude if they act a certain way. I never enjoy spending time with my family anymore I'm always having to deal with my husbands immature behavior. We have only been married for two years and his behavior disgusts me. I don't know what to do anyymore and the holidays are coming up which is gonna make it bad. He has already planned a whole schedule to spend lots of time with his family and none with mine, please help!

Answer
Hi Allison~

Maybe he's being a bit of both.  It's unfair that he's acting the way he is.  He's being immature and fit throwing like a little child when it comes to time and activities with your family.  But when it comes to his family he does a 180 and wants to plan things and spend lots of time with them.  What's wrong with this picture here?  And how does he think it's fair to do this?  You're to make exceptions for his family but he's not to for yours?  That's total and complete BS.  I think both he and his parents are supporting each other in the way they're acting out.  

You need to sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk with him.  He needs to know how this is affecting you.  And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage.  With the holidays fast approaching, you do need to figure out what to do about this situation and what you're going to do about it.  Do you compromise and entertain his family at your house, and then go to your parents?  Or do you just say I'm done and until this gets resolved, we're not going there (or at least you) to their house or vice versa (meaning they don't come to your house), etc.  

This isn't going to get any better unless something done about it.  In fact it'll only get that much worse as time goes on.  You may have to take matters into your own hands and decide what to do about all this and where to go from here on out.