Navigating Financial Strain: When a Spouse's Income Falls Short

Question
My husband used to be a Buyer in the Pharmaceutical industry.  I also work in pharmaceutical clinical trials.  He was layed off from his job due to a company takeover and down sizing.  He interviewed at 6 good companies, but was not chosen.  He now works at Starbucks for $9.00 an hour and gets < 20 hrs per week.  I pay for everything, ie: mortgage, insurance, food, utilities, etc.  He is supposed to pay for child care which is about 500.00 month, but they have cut back his hours to where he is not able to do this.

He was supposed to go to an interview today for a Buyer position for a Medical Foundation but postponed the interview.  I have seen him do this before.  I really got upset with him and said "his sense of urgency" is null.  Can you tell me what makes a "man" not go to a interview.  There was no reason to put this off.  He thinks I just like money, but I really think he is lazy and something has changed within him and his work ethics.

Thanks for your time.
Kathy

Answer
Hi Kathy~

Maybe he's got some form of depression and he's discouraged by being laid off from his job, and now by working minimal hours at a dead-end job it's starting to take a toll on him.  Or maybe you're just right and he has gotten lazy.  

You need to sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk.  He needs to know exactly how this is affecting you.  And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage.  Try to encourage him if you can and give him support to go to more interviews.  

Besides if he wants to be working PT, there's no need for you to spend the extra $500 on daycare.  Maybe being at home taking care of the children and being bored w/o having work to do might be enough for him to seek FT employment.  

I'd say he's become discouraged and that's why he's not very motivated to go to these interviews and to apply himself more.  You need to give him the encouragement and kick start that he needs.  Tell him he either becomes a FT stay at home dad and you'll pay for everything, while he cooks, cleans, etc.  Or he has to get out and find himself FT employment to bring in his share to support the household and have something to do and make him feel better about himself.  Something has to be done.  Talk with him and see if you can't work this issue out.