Re-igniting Motivation in a Stay-at-Home Husband: A Guide

Question
Hi,
Please help!  I have been married for 7 years to my second husband.  At first my husband was the breadwinner and I was very proud of the fact that he was the leader of our family.  I have always worked outside of the home, but now I work 2 jobs to support the family AND I am the mother of 3.  My husband had his own business and the business folded.  Now he is a stay at home dad and is not doing very well at it.   He frequently drops the ball with housekeeping, preparing meals for the kids and forgets to pay bills ontime.  He constantly complains about the kids getting on his nerves and I have to ask him several times to follow up on school, grades, etc.  If I dont ask, it wont get done.  I have asked him to please act more responsibly, but he only promises and never delivers.  I have tried talking to him quietly, crying and talking, yelling and talking.  I have tried it all.  He will not get a job outside of the home because he does not have a good ID (he had some problems with the law). Although he spends a lot of time on his website that produces very little income (mainly debt).  The few orders that come in, he sometimes will fulfill in a timely manner.   My biggest fear is that I will be financially supporting him for the rest of my life.  Also, I have a serious medical condition that is worsening because of all of the stress that I am under.  I know that his choices for work are limited, but I would at least like to see him do more around the house for the family , instead of making childish excuses.  He is constantly making excuses for not doing the things that he has agreed to do. I feel more at peace when I ask my oldest son, who is a teenager, to handle tasks.  A lot of things that he slips on are very serious, like making deposits ( I have had many bounced checks because he makes excuses for not getting the deposit in before 2.  There is always some reason that things dont get done efficiently.  He watches a lot of movies and a lot of video games though.  Please advise.  Thank you and God bless!

Answer
When things fall apart it is hard to get started again, but he is going to have to start somewhere, perhaps Home Depot.  A problem for you will be if he is not home, who will watch the kids, daycare? But set a timeline for him to get back in the work force and see it through, tell him you cannot go on any longer the way things are.

Bill