QuestionMy husband and I have been married for 10 years. We got married young, I was 19 and he was 22. We have an 18month old son together. My husband is in a funk. He got hurt at work in Dec and was home for a month and a half. He says this is when he started to have these feelings. He says hes not sure if he wants to be married to me anymore. He has anixety issues and does not like to be alone. Hes worried that he is staying with me because he dosent want to be alone. He says he loves me and is in love with me, but he is still having these doubts. I have asked him if either him or I should leave for a few days or a week and he dosent want to do that either. I am so confused. He just dosent know what he wants anymore.
He is also unhappy with his job and extremly stressed out and wants me to go back to work. I am currently a stay at home mom. I think he may resent me for being home with our son while he is at work and miserable. He says he needs to find himself. Where does that leave me? WOuld marriage counsling be a good idea? I want to keep my family together, espesically since we still love each other. What should I do ?
AnswerHi Meagan~
That leaves you in between a rock and a hard spot to be put in a position like that! I think marriage counseling could definitely be a plus for you both. But he has to be a willing participant and want to work this marriage out. He could have a form of depression as you suspect. And this could be making him feel confused, waffling about things, not knowing what to do about the relationship, etc.
You need to sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk with him. He need to know exactly how this is making you feel. And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage. He could also be stressing out due to him being off work for a period of time. Then you throw in the anxiety issues, etc and you're asking for a melt down from him anytime. Stress can cause a lot of problems for a person, their health, their marriage, etc.
At this point all you can do is take things one day at a time. You both have to be willing to do whatever it takes to make this marriage work. This includes going to counseling, working on your communication skills by talking things out; such as how you feel, on a daily basis (if necessary), what each of you is feeling and thinking, working out problems, etc.
Talk to him and hopefully you can both work these differences out and make things better as time goes on.
