QuestionI want out of my marriage so bad that I can't stand it. I can't even stand the sound of his voice anymore. He just does not care about anything but himself. We have two kids, and he is not family oriented at all. He does not have good hygene and that is a reason I don't want to have sex anymore. I've stayed in the relationship just for the kids. I just want to take my boys and leave. I don't want to leave on bad terms though.
AnswerHi Laura~
There's not going to be any easy way to tell him why and that your leaving him. It doesn't have to necessarily be on bad terms. When a person leaves a marriage or relationship on bad terms they tend to not have closure to that relationship or marriage ending. And can often times take it out on their next partner and/or spouse, which can cause fights, relationship problems, etc.
You need to sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk with him. He needs to know exactly how this is affecting you. And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage (or to tell him exactly why you're leaving him--due to the bad hygiene, etc).
You'll still have to co-parent with him at times, so you'll need to make this clear to him that when you separate, you want to be civil with each other for the sake of the children. It's probably not going to be an easy thing to do, but you can do it if you put a lot of time and effort into it. He has to do the same as well.
Just be open and honest with him, when you're ready to break the news to him, try to be sensitive to his feelings and have some compassion. After all at one time there was something that drew you to him in the first place when you met him.
The bottom line here is that there's really no easy way to do this. The sooner you do this the better too. This way you can both start leading your respective lives separately. Each of you both are going to have to move on with you life w/o the other in it. It takes some time to get adjusted (as well as for the children too), but eventually things will be a lot better off.
You have to go with your heart and do what's right for you and the children, and what makes you happy. Whatever choice you make isn't going to be an easy one either.
