QuestionHello! I have been married for six years to my 2nd husband. I am 37 and he is 45, and I have two children from my previous marriage who are 13 and 11 and we have a 4-year-old daughter together. Sometimes, though, I wonder why I ever married him and why I stay with him. He is downright mean to me at times. For instance, if I do something wrong, he yells at me and calls me a "dumb ass bitch" in front of the kids. He did it yesterday when I had left my Swiffer mop in the back of my van and some drawers from a chest of drawers got loaded on top of it and pushed the button of my Swiffer mop down. When you push the button, some of the stuff inside of the mop sprays out. When he found that out, he called me a "dumb ass bitch" and said that he would never get me anything nice again because I was allowing my van, which is relatively new and very nice, to get ruined. He did all this in front of my kids and basically made me feel like crap. He thinks he did nothing wrong and won't apologize even though I told him that it hurts very deeply and that I don't feel like he even loves me anymore. He has down this many other times as well. At this point, I just really don't even like him anymore but I do love him. I would like to save our marriage because he is a good person in other ways. What should I do?
AnswerHello Julia,
You can love people and not like them.However in a marriage it isn't a good sign.
If he continues to do this,ask him to attend counseling with you.Either with your minister or a professional counselor.
Accidents happen and you did not deserve being called names.His lack of respect for you and for himself leads me to believe there are some underlying issues from his past that need to be worked out.
I hope he will attend counseling and you can salvage your marriage.
Rita
