Questionwhy is is that when im in an argument with my wife that she always thinks about the end...I dont want my mind to get there with hers so i try to distance myself. She thinks its wrong to do that so what is my solution?
AnswerHi Michael~
She could be doing this b/c she regrets getting married (for whatever her personal reasons might be). Or to use this against you b/c she knows that this hurts you when she says this. If you're having problems now, this soon into the marriage. What do you think will happen after you've been married for longer, and things build up and more problems/issues arise in the marriage. She needs to stop doing this and using this against you, she's sabotaging the marriage and that's not a good thing at all.
You need to sit down with her and have a serious heart to heart talk with her. She needs to know exactly how this is affecting you. And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage. Perhaps you can come up with some sort of compromise to work your differences out.
As a last resort you could bring up the subject of marriage counseling to her. This way you can try to figure out what the problem is and work on it. At least you'll have done everything within your power to give this marriage a fighting chance to survive, and if it doesn't then you can go your separate ways and move on your respective lives w/o each other.
Talk of divorce already isn't a good thing at all, if she keeps the talk of divorce up, then you might as well hang things up now, b/c that speaks volumes that she's not willing or able to put in anything to contribute to making the marriage successful, so why keep wasting your time, if she's going to threaten you and hold this over your head. You shouldn't have to go around walking on egg shells b/c you're afraid to say or do something, and make her bring this topic up and throw it in your face when she's angry at you. It's unfair to you for her to do this.
You need to decide what it is you want out of this marriage. Something has to be done or it's only going to get that much worse at time goes on. The choice is yours to make. You need to learn to communicate better with her and be on the same page. Communication is key in any happy, healthy and successful marriage. If you don't have the ability to talk to her, then how are you going to know how she's feeling and vice versa. That's a must have in a marriage.
