QuestionI know this technically isn't a marriage question, but I see you've got good feedback, so I'll ask here anyway.
My 18-year-old son told me last night he'd signed up for cheerleading in university (here in the United Kingdom, 18 is the legal age to enter university). We were happy he'd found a hobby he liked as it had been hard up until now convincing him to have a life outside of studying; he is doing excellent academically.
However, he told us he had something further to reveal - he'd asked the instructor if he could wear female cheerleader outfits, and said to the instructor that it wasn't a fetish or crossdressing or anything like that, and that it was just to fit in with the group and not have to have separate uniforms due to gender issues.
He told us the instructor was open-minded enough to accept anyone, and allowed him to perform this way.
We were shocked and worried he'd be the victim of bullying - but he's insistent he won't be, and told us this does not make him a crossdresser. He told us this doesn't mean he's gay/bisexual either.
Should we be worried about bullying in this new interest of his - is bullying in cheerleading a common thing, or rare?
I'm in two minds here - one I'm pleased for him (and my husband is), the other being worried about ridicule/harassment.
What should me and my husband do about this?
(disclaimer:apologies for using the corporate shared email address here).
AnswerHi Joanne~
That's great that he's joined the cheerleading team! It can be good for self confidence, self-esteem, etc. HOWEVER, and that's a big however. It isn't appropriate by any means for him to wear a female cheerleading uniform, and for several reasons. One it's a huge distraction, it's inappropriate, and as you said bullies will likely single him out and pick on him. I, for one, find it very hard to believe that any university would condone a male wearing a female uniform in sports (that clearly is made for a female), and it's probably against school policy that they would even find this acceptable. He could be testing them and pushing boundaries to see just how far he can push them and what he can get away with. You as his parents have every right to be concerned about this behavior and rightfully so. You need to sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk with him. He's obviously trying to make a point about this and he has his reasons behind it (and male cheerleaders aren't uncommon particularly colleges/universities in the US--I don't know about the UK though), but they aren't that clear at this point of why he's doing this. Unfortunately there are ignorant people still out there in the world who are discriminatory and racists, so this might make him a target for people such as this.
I know this if I were in your current situation I would not be able to be supportive of my son doing this and acting this way. I would feel like I had to go talk to a school administrator about all of this, and IF they are allowing this WHY are they doing so. As his parent you have every right to inquire about what's going on with your son's schooling extra-curricular activities, etc and to figure out exactly what's going on here. I don't think (as I said earlier) that I would fully believe what he's telling me, that's why I said suggest you check into this with his school to see what's going on and if you can straighten this all out. If that means you have to have a conference with this coach/teacher, and other staff of the uni, then so be it. This is nonsense and isn't an acceptable thing for him to do. I hope this helps you some.
