QuestionDear Samantha,
I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months and he is already acting like a child! I know most men are childish in general, but to be more specific: It irritates me when he nags like a baby! He's already being too comfortable around me! it's actually freaking me out!
just imagine how a little boy nags about his little car or a meal he does not like. He is just like that. He makes that sound of a spoiled little boy crying. That is freaky to me! I don't know how to deal with it. I tried to tell him several times and explained to him that it's not the right behavior for man, of course I was being careful not to offend him. He nods his head thinking that he understood but he keeps behaving that way over and over. He nags the same way about his socks or something he can't find while I'm speaking on the phone! How can I stop it?! It turns me off and it's embarrassing.
I have to tell him to brush his teeth, and when I do he jumps around exactly like a little girl and complains about it!! It's not possible!
Most of the times he is careless with what he wears when we want to go out on a weekend night. I try to pick nice cloths for him telling him nicely that I like this T-shirt and it looks fabulous on him, he shows a long face. The ones he picks are torn or dirty or unbelievably tight and old!
I don't understand why he prefers them! they don't even look comfortable.
He always points out my outfits and criticizes me if he doesn't like something specific and I don't really mind it because I want to look good for him, but why doesn't he want to accept it from me?
Another thing that makes me don't even want to be with him in one room, He wants to be around me all the time. I mean day and night, every hour and every minute. When he goes to work, he calls me around thousand times just to talk, and I wish he could talk anyway! there's nothing to talk about during that time. He tells me I love you thousand time and wants to cuddle thousand times a day!
My friends tell me that I'm being stupid and a lot of women out there wish they could have such a man. But I feel like I'm suffocating! There's no room for excitement anymore! I can't even tell him "I love you" anymore! I told him I need some space for myself, to read, to paint or anything he shows a reaction that it's weird for him and it's not necessary to have space! He argues back like a child even though I'm calm.
His body language always tells me "give me more" and he never gives me emotions back. He wants me to be a mother rather than a lover! He's only good at saying "I love you".
Now I find myself taking care of him all the time in everything you could imagine. I'm not sure how to tell him and make him understand that I need to be taken care of as well.. I find myself being used. He's taking everything from me. I feel I have no more emotions to show. I can't be comfortable around him anymore! sometimes I pray this is just a phase and it will be over because I can't live with a man I'm not attracted to! it's like a nightmare!
When he's back from work I freak out because I have to be prepared for him being all over me!!! before taking a breath before taking a shower. I feel like I'm just a machine!
He's not a bad person, I think he really horrible at relationships! I want to make him understand that I need romance and I did point it out to him but I'm not sure he knows how to do that. When I try to be romantic he makes me feel stupid. He pulls out these stupid "funny" faces and just kills the moment. I'm not sure what to call that! It's like he's running away from something or trying to change the subject, the moment. i don't know!
When I first met him, he wasn't like that at all. Now he's all different. I'm not sure what happened. Even though he's in my life but I still feel alone!
please advice me. What should I do?!
AnswerHi Sara~
RUN! No, I'm just kidding, but seriously, his childish and immature actions/reactions to things are just a buzz kill (meaning a huge kill joy, and ruining the moment, etc). He needs to grow up or risk losing you. You need to sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk with him. He needs to shape up or ship out b/c he's distancing you from him in a major way. He has to know how this is affecting and you need to be honest, up front and matter of fact with him. This has gotten so ridiculous and out of control it's become almost a game to him. Maybe it you video taped him to show him just how stupid and childish he is acting, that might give him a wake up call that he so desperately needs right now. His behavior is out of control to the point of where it's driving you right out of the door, is that his ultimate goal, to get rid of you, makes you wonder. Anyway, the longer you keep tolerating it and putting up with it, he's going to continue this unwanted and undesirable behavior. It's very unbecoming of a grown man to act like a snot-nosed, spoilt brat who needs to be told what to do, how to do it, what to wear, etc, etc. It's taxing, tiring and getting down right old for you. But I'll guarantee he'll do this b/c it's working for him. He gets a pay off by acting this way around you. Now what his exact pay off is, that remains to be seen, and only he knows that answer. Perhaps it's to get back at you, piss you off, for you to treat him like a child or whatever his reasons are in doing it. As you said though it's getting real old and real fast. Something has to give here and you're going to have to be the one do so something about it once and for all.
He may not fully realize what he's doing you and how far he's pushed you. This is why you need to take a stand and say no more, that you've passed your breaking point and it's going to be down hill from here on out if things don't change on his part, and he starts to grow up. Is this the first real relationship he's been in in life? Or are there other girls that you know or don't know about that he's run off due to his immature behavior? That would be interesting to know. So it's going to lie with you to do something about this nonsense. If he can't grow up then send him packing otherwise you'll just have to continue to put up with raising a little boy and being his mother and things will spiral out of control. The choice is yours and it's one that only you can make.
