QuestionI asked my original question here:
http://en.allexperts.com/q/Marriage-3223/2009/12/son-taken-cheerleading.htm
I spoke to my son about it [had a serious heart-to-heart talk], and he said to me that he wasn't doing it to make a point, he was only following the rules of the organization as stated on an advert for it he saw at the student bar. He even showed me the poster which stated (in small print at the bottom) "one uniform for both genders". He insists it is not cross-dressing and feels a bit ashamed by the uniform but accepts it saying to me "I can't choose the uniform standards... but if that's the way it is, dammit, I'll just accept it" and was very stoic.
I spoke to the instructor, and she told me ALL cheerleaders, regardless of gender, have to wear the same uniform, which looks similar to this:
http://cdn.bleacherreport.com/images_root/slideshows/132/slideshow_13250/display...
I just don't get why a cheerleading squad would insist all its cheerleaders, regardless of gender would wear a uniform like the above.
I said to her that this wasn't right, but she insisted it's all in the name of equality, and that men are quite welcome to join the team, and the uniform is for ALL members - there is no male equivalent.
I asked her if she'd ever change the uniforms or her opinion on this, but she insisted, no, these are quite carefully designed to ensure they look good on-pitch for the cheerleading squad.
She told me if I'm dissatisfied I can take it or leave it, but the uniforms are for both genders, she says.
I can't really take this to university level as it's not a disciplinary matter (apparently) so what should I do?
Obviously my son's a legal adult now (18 being the legal age for adulthood here in the United Kingdom, and the related nations of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland) so it seems like I can't stop him.
How should we deal with this situation now that it's progressed further with information?
(Disclaimer not for publication: My surname on here is my maiden name used as a pseudonym. Using shared corporate email to send this.)
AnswerHi Joanne~
I don't know what kind of university that they are running, but it is not acceptable for them to have uniforms for both genders that look this way. This is clearly sexist when they say that they are for all genders, which it's quite clear they are NOT made for both genders. And it seems that she doesn't care or doesn't mind discriminating against males that want to join the team and to become a male cheerleader. It's just wrong on so many levels. However, with that point said/made, it's completely up to your son on whether he decides to join or stay on the team. You can't make him do anything that he doesn't want to do, as you already stated he is of legal age (it's the same here in the US). Maybe this is their way to humiliate and discourage males from joining the cheer team. They clearly at the university are not in the right frame of mind. And if I were in this situation with my son, I would have a huge, huge problem with that, and I would bring all of these points up to my son. It would make me mad enough that I would seriously consider filing a law suit against them for discrimination b/c those uniforms are not made for male genitalia (they just aren't, as you can see in that picture), it's making a mockery of men that truly want to be on a cheer team and it's just inappropriate and totally unacceptable, and frankly it's to the point of being utterly ridiculous. If your son wishes to continue with this nonsense, then let him it's his choice and there's not much you can do about it, and you do not have to agree with this at all, it's whatever he wants to do.
