QuestionI was checking our email recently, and was surprised to receive one from another woman addressed to my husband saying "Thank you for the photos of yourself in a bikini, love them loads... here's some of me in a bikini! Send me some more, hot dude!"
I discovered he'd sent more photos of himself wearing a bikini to this woman in the outbox.
I then confronted my husband over this, and he wouldn't discuss it, claiming he can do what he wants.
We've only been married for 6 weeks now and he does... this! It's not normal, and weird/creepy to say the least.
How am I meant to deal with this?
AnswerHi Judith,
Six weeks is all it took, eh? Your husband is correct in that he can do whatever he wants. So, taking that into consideration, it also means that you could do whatever you want as well. Ask him how he feels with the suggestion that you will be sending photos of yourself in a bikini to another man online. If his answer is that he has no problem with it at all, then you can safely assume that he is not quite ready to be married and committed to a relationship. I have no idea how long you have been with him before marriage, but suffice it to say that you may not really know this man well enough to have married him.
If I were to do something like this, my wife would have great reason to be upset, as when I married her, it was quite clear that any activity of this type would be undertaken with her. Quite simple, really. Your husband is not ready for marriage, as he has not understood what it means.
The very fact that he wishes not to discuss this grave error in judgment tells me that the future is going to be very bleak for your relationship. A man mature enough to understand the commitment of marriage would have immediately realized that this was a mistake and would have corrected his behaviour, as well as apologized to you profusely and asked for forgiveness.
Any man who needs this is not marriage material, in my opinion. It indicates an underlying flaw that may lead to much misery for you going forward. Deal with it now, and if he refuses, then I am sure you know what your options are.
I hope this helps,
best regards,
Don.
