QuestionHi,
My name is dawn and I am a 33 year old female, with an excellent job, great husband, and a bright and aspiring young son of 14. My problem; I am tremendously unhappy in my marriage and feel like I stay in it to help my son get through these last couple of years and also to just keep my husband content.
My husband and I got involved @ 16 and had our son at 18. You can imagine the years of garbage we have been through. He left me at 4 or 5 months pregnant to be with another woman. I have repeatedly left the relationship due to his lack of dedication to us. Wether it was not committing to a great job or moving us out of his families home, I looked for love in other men to open doors to get me out of there. The straw that broke our relationship was when he started doing cocaine. The violence, lies, abuse, etc destroyed our relationship. I kicked him out and managed the home without him for a year. After that, he chose to get help and I helped him by providing a roof for him to recover. He has been success..........Clean for over 7 years. Hes got a great job, doenst drink, comes home every night.....so why. I think I just want to be in love with someone I am attracted to. To me, he is not really attractive anymore. It seems like the years of garbage have destroyed my feelings. Our time apart, I was involved with other men and I enjoyed it. Now I find myself interested in other men. I am so tempted to move on. I have tried it last year but it just cause to much pain. Both my husband and son made me feel every bit of pain. I stay because of their guilt trip. I plan on leaving once my son is off to college in 3 years......but part of me wants out now....
Do you think this is the right thing?
How many times can I try to get those feelings back?
My husband says this will just happen in my next relationship.....the love will die out...but I dont believe that.....
What do you think?
AnswerA marriage is a commitment, some can stay committed some not. In your situation, both of you have lost the "committed" desire. Sometimes marriage can be saved if the desire to re-commit is mutual and strong. In your case it doesn't sound like it. The grass may seem greener somewhere else, but more than likely it won't be...
Bill
