Navigating Infidelity & Relationship Challenges After 15 Years of Marriage

Question
I have been married 15yrs. My husband was working out of town and met another women in a bar  who gave him a sob story about her life and childs life. One thing led to another and needless to say after only knowing each other 3weeks they move in together.  This was a shock to me. I asked him why? he said that he has not been happy in years, and I do not like his friends( who are drunks and have drug problems as well as my husband has). and I spend to much money and I never saved the money.  He is putting everything on my shoulders making me feel like it was me who drove him to do this.   He keeps saying he loves me and does not want to hurt me. I am a good person. I asked him for a divorce and he said he does not know what he wants. Than said I treated him awful for 15 yrs..He has hurt me by saying these things.  I dont know why he feels like this. I cant get him to talk and when I try it just gets into an argument and he hit me last week over this. I leave that in the courts hands.















it was like I was the mother and he was the child. He has been verbaly abusive towards me, tell me I am ugly, fat, no one would want me, I wear to much makeup  and why do I have to have the best of everything and why I took a job where there is mainly guys working.  I dont know if he is going threw mid life crisis.  People are telling me I should wait and see what happends.  I dont know what to do







my husband has been living with this girl now for 7 weeks  

Answer
Missy,
Let's be honest for a moment. Out of all the things that he has accused you of are any of them truthful? When things like this happen I wonder what would make him want to leave. Did he feel disrespected...unloved...unneeded? So what he did is not right, but since you are the one emailing you need to examine your behavior in light of what has happened. Guys generally need 3 things food, sex and admiration. I would say that would be a good place to start as you think about how you may have treated your husband. It will be hard I understand, but I believe it is necessary to acknowledge what you have done wrong in order for all the arguing to stop.
David
www.help4life.net