QuestionHello,
i have been with my partner for all most 2years and few month,sex was very
good and we were in love and all that all of a sudden everything has changes
since we moved together, last time we had sex was in July he will not even
kiss kiss me but hes always hugging me and all, hes always angry all the time
what ever i ask or say hes not happy and hes always in the computer room
playing games until after mid night its killing me as i love him so much but
he just don't care anymore,we never do things together all he wants is to
spend money on his own
please help
AnswerHi Jane,
I found this question in the question pool and decided to give you my opinion in the hope that it will help you.
From your message I can see that you are quite willing to commit your time and feelings to your partner, but it seems quite obvious that you have reached a point that he may not yet have reached. The fact that he is not continuously curious about you and how you both can evolve together tells me that there is a rather serious underlying problem. Perhaps he is not looking for a partner but more so someone who will cater to him and answer to his needs, without him having to commit to anything.
This does not make for a good long term relationship. You have a right to be considered and cherished, as you have shown that you can commit and move to a higher level of relationship. Your partner seems not able to do the same. It is now up to you to decide if you wish to continue to feel bad or if you wish to sit down and talk to him, explaining that your TIME is limited in life, and that you wish to use it being happy and seeking out happiness so that it is not wasted. Remember that TIME never comes back. It only goes one way, and we have only so much of it. Do not spend it feeling bad about a situation. fix it and fix it rapidly.
If your partner cannot offer you what you need, then move on. Do NOT make the mistake of thinking that you can fix him. You can only fix yourself. You may be a bit too mature for him.
Remind yourself that any man who has a woman who loves him and wishes to give him all that she has to offer would be a fool not to sit back and not participate.
Fix it rapidly, Jane.......and if he does not understand what it means to share his life with someone, or if he is not ready, then move on to someone that is.
You can to this life alone, and you will leave it alone. whatever you do in between should always make you happy. If it doesn't then change it. Every relationship we experience serves to give us knowledge until the right one comes along.
Do not shortchange yourself with people who cannot make you happy. You will not change a man. You should not even consider changing him. He needs to do that, not you. If he is not willing to commit and do what is necessary without you having to coax him then his fundamentals will never match your needs.........move on. Take the experience that you acquired from it and use it for your next relationship, to allow you to grow as a person.
Be well, and find happiness Jane. You deserve it.
kindest regards,
DON
