Financial Control in a Relationship: Is It Abuse?

Question
My obyfriend controls all the money.  He hides it and if i need any he has to know what for and tries to give me the exact amount i need.  Should i keep putting up with this?  Is this a sign of financial abuse?

Answer
Dear Amanda,

Thank you for contacting me again.

From what I understand from your previous letter to me, you boyfriend works and you stay home with your child.  Therefore, I would say that he has the right to do anything he wishes with his money, since he is the one earning it.

If he is hiding the money it is because he does not feel comfortable with you knowing where it is.  Apparently, he does not trust you with this information.  Either this is because of your spending habits or because he does not feel that you need to know where he keeps his money.

You seem to be of the opinion that you are entitled to his money.  You are not.  If he gives you money for the things you need (I am assuming house and baby goods), then you should be happy that he does this.  Without a court order for support for his child he is not required to give you anything. No, it isn't financial abuse.

Best of luck.

R. M. French