Questionhi my name is lindsay and i just found out recently that i was pregnant....i have been seeing the same guy on and off for about 8 months now....when i told him i was pregnant he freaked on me and said this cant happen...you have to get rid of it,we are to young,do u want it to ruin both our lives??I just dont know what to do...i dont think i am ready for a child and i have had an abortion in the past and it made me very depressed.....i jsut feel so lost that im not getting the emotional support i need from someone i care about so much....he blames me for getting pregnant saying he didnt even want to have sex that night...everything was good up until now...well it wasnt perfect but he actually treated me with a lil respect...torn....
AnswerHello, Lindsay,
You already know that abortion is unacceptable. You've been there. Don't even CONSIDER letting this guy coerce you into an abortion you don't want.
We women bond with the man we have sex with. We also make commitments freely. Men usually don't make such a commitment to begin with. Obviously, you care a lot more for him than he does for you. He is willing to subject you to another abortion, so he can go on with his life as if nothing has happened. You know you won't be able to do that. You will never forget. He should have thought about whether it would ruin your lives before he put you at risk. Women often misunderstand a man's sexuality, and that's one reason we get into these situations. He may have been treating you with a little respect, but obviously, he didn't respect your body, and he still doesn't. Forcing a woman to have an abortion is the opposite of respect.
There are organizations all over the United States that help provide alternatives and counseling. You can find one near you by going to this web site:
http://www.optionline.org/
They also provide counseling and other help for women who have experienced abortion, and have suffered as you have. Emotional and spiritual healing are possible. I am also here any time you need to talk.
Your baby is depending on you for your protection. You are your baby's mother. Be the mother God intended you to be. Decide you are going to protect your baby. Tell him you have decided, and that it's not open to discussion. If he keeps freaking out, then hang up the phone, or walk out of the room. If he follows you, tell him that you are leaving the room, and he may not follow you. If he persists, leave the house. But don't stay there and take it from him. He may rant and rave for awhile, but there is a pretty good chance that if you stand firm, he will respect that. If he doesn't, dump him. You deserve better.
God entrusted you with the most precious gift a person can ever receive: a baby made in His image with an eternal destiny. Pray for strength.
It will be very difficult. But you are a lot stronger than you think. Please protect your baby. Stand strong. Your baby needs your protection. Please keep in touch. If you have more problems, I am here to talk about it. Please take care of both of you.I will pray for you.
