Navigating Alcohol Abuse & Its Impact on Family Life

Question
I have been married to my husband 3 years today, we have a little girl between us (1 years) and a son (six years, mine from a previous relationship).  For the last 8 or 9 months I have been contributing to 70% of the household bills due to the lack of wrk by my husband.  In the interim my husband has been abusing alcohol (1- 2 six packs a day) he wakes up 10 am and needs a drink, he says to help him relax.  We constantly argue and there is no peace in my household, lately we had a huge fight and I came out of it with a black eye.  When he is cofronted on the issue, he says that he either becomes remorseful and promises to change or he becomes defensive.  Obviously, there is a huge problem in the house and now the children are becoming involved. He speaks about me negatively and my son, but then turns around and tells me he loves me. This situation is not healthy, he tells me that he will not leave the house, if I stay I will be tormented with the verbal abuse.  He says he wants to go to counselling to make me be quite, but I don't think this is sincere. Am I being selfish if I decide to leave?  There are two innocent children involved.

Answer
It's always better to try to work something out, then at least when you decide to leave you can say you tried. It isn't always fun being a single mother. Set a deadline for the counceling and see it is arranged. Sometimes being confronted by a third party helps put things in perspective. Alcohol is a luxury to be enjoyed when everything is going good in a household, when times are tight, that has to be the first thing to go. Then if you see the counceling is not working out, begin to make your plans to move on. The fact that he has attended counceling will then aid your case as evidence of a problem should you need to file for divorce.

Bill