Navigating a Complicated Relationship: He's Still Married - Seeking Guidance

Question
I met a man 15 months ago and fell deeply in love with him.  He was everything i have ever wanted in a man.  I am a divorced (9yrs) mother of 3 wonderful children.  He treats me and my kids so very well and I was so happy until I found out after several months that he was still married.  He said the divorce papers are filed and are being held up due to property proceedings.  He explained in many details why he lied and that he knew the marriage was over.  I forgave him and then later found out that he had been seeing another lady for the past 4.5 years and was actually engaged to her and she had no idea he was married either.  I also found that he had many chat buddies and frequented many dating sites.  He has since then called, emailed, etc. all those women and told them that he is in love with me and sorry for all the hurt he caused them.  I am in so much pain and apparently a fog because my mind says run, but my heart won't let go.  he says he had trust issues with women his whole life and always kept a "plan b" accessible in case Plan A didn't come through.  He was married for 20 years and apparently she knew nothing of all these affairs he has had over the years.  He blames all the women in his life for his infidelity and says he finally wants to change and be a better man.  He put a tracker on his phone where I could see where he is at all times and has given me access to his phone but inside, how can i believe that anyone can really change at 48 years old without a miraculous move of God?  I have never been insecure or without confidence but for the first time in my life, I feel trapped, numb, lost and dead inside.  I am so in love with this man, but I keep asking myself why.  Please help me.

Answer
You have bonded emotionally to a sociopath. Break it off. Grieve the loss, heal, and move forward in your life. Yes it is painful to sever a the emotional bond, like removing a spear that has pierced your side, but it must be done for you to heal.

You may also want to explore unhealthy patterns of attraction.