QuestionI have been married almost 2 years and I am worried about my husband. Since our wedding, he has put on at least 50 pounds and while I love the way he looks anyway, I am worried for his heart. His doctor says he has high blood pressure but he brushed it off, He's only 23!!He is very lazy and eats a lot more than he should. I don't want to act like his mother but he has no control. He goes to the gym but I know he is just wasting his time, not getting a real workout. I try to be encouraging and buy healthy foods but he is still very sedentary. Help!! I want to support him and yet not treat him like a child, what should I do?
AnswerDear Emily,
Thank you for contacting allexperts.com. I hope that I can assist you with this question.
You sound like a very intelligent and loving wife. Your husband is lucky to have you!
The first thing to do is to discover what physical activity your husband enjoys. If he is like me - that is going to be difficult. If you can find this out, then the best approach you can take would be encourage him to do this and the very best thing you could do would be to participate along with him.
Setting an example is always a good thing. If he sees that you enjoy the exercise and feel better (and look better) when you exercise he may get the idea that he might enjoy it too!
As you have already figured out, the worst thing you can do is nag him about his weight, health or exercise habits. This will only serve to cause resentment.
One other thing to consider is that, other than your husband's high blood pressure, is that being overweight is not the terrible thing that the media would have you believe. The fact of the matter is that the diet and exercise industry makes billions of dollars a year on people who are overweight - or think they are. They have tremendous power and have managed to convince people in this country that being overweight is unattractive, and unhealthy. This is not necessarily the case. Statistics that say that obese people have a greater risk of illness and disease are skewed by other factors. For instance, people are led to believe that obesity causes diabetes. When it fact, it is usually diabetes that causes obesity. Therefore when you hear the statistic that 80 percent of diabetics are obese, you naturally think that it is the weight that is causing the problem.
The fact of the matter is that in countries where being overweight is more accepted, there is no higher rate of heart disease, diabetes, etc. In fact, it has recently been discovered that diabetes is more likely caused by the excessive amount of sugar that is consumed in this country, rather than obesity.
What I am trying to say is that, other than the high blood pressure issue, I wouldn't worry that your husband's being over weight is a health issue. I am NOT A DOCTOR and I am not prescribing anything, but if I were you I would read up on how odorless garlic capsules can affect a persons high blood pressure. My mother had high blood pressure until she started taking them and now it is normal.
Blood presure is also affected by stress. If your husband has a stressful job or experiences other stressful situations during the day, he should consider taking steps to reduce the stess level. This could mean holistic measures such as meditation or listening to soothing music or whatever it takes to reduce the stress. Even if it does not result in high blood pressure, constant stress is very harmful to a person - much more so than being fat! Overeating is also a sign of stress, so I suspect this could be a large part of the problem.
Another area that you might consider is what you are feeding him. Are you preparing good, nutritious meals without a lot of added fat and salt. Now that summer is right around the corner (if you live in the Northern Hemisphere, that is), it would be a good time to lighten the menu to include a lot of fruits and fresh veggies. This will go a long way to helping reduce the calorie count that your husband is consuming.
Another really important thing is TURN OFF THE TELEVISION SET. Try to get out of the house and enjoy nature, the sunset, the yard, the flower garden. Anything but sitting in front of the TV. More calories are consumed in front of the television than at the dinner table.
Best of luck to you. I hope that things do work out.
R. M. French
