Navigating Online Friendships: Addressing Insecurity in Marriage

Question
Hello. Thank you for reading my question. My husband and I have been married for 7 years. Recently, he began an online friendship with a woman (he believed she was a man when they first starting talking). They have become good friends and talk 2-3 times online a day. This drives me crazy of course. While I know he is not having an affair with her, it makes me feel really insecure because he spends so much time talking with her. Obviously, she is filling an emotional need for him. Truthfully, I hate having her invade my house everday via our computer. My questions: do I have a right to ask my husband to stop talking to her? If not, should he stop talking to her because of how miserable their relationship is making me? And, finally, do I just need to suck it up and accept their friendship? I just can't keep hating her forever! Thank You!!


Answer
Tanda,
It is my belief that a man and woman can be friends, but only casually....especially if one or both is married. In your case...your husband is taking this friendship too far. If he needs more emotional support, advice etc. he needs to find a trustworthy man to confide in. The same would apply for you, if you needed those things you would find a trustworthy woman to confide in. Its a dangerous thing for a married man to have a relationship like that with a woman who is not his wife. I feel you have every right to be hurt, upset and feel invaded. You could try talking to him. Be gentle and unaccusing. Quietly explain that if he is missing something from you that you would love to know so that you could work harder to give him what he needs. Explain that his relationship, even if it is just friendship, with this woman hurts you. He may or may not end it. I hope he does. Work gently but consistly on it. Show him lots of love and let him know how much he means to you. Let him know he is your hero...this is really all men want...to be a hero.
Good luck.