Infidelity Concerns: Navigating Trust Issues in Early Marriage

Question
Hi My name is Angela Roberts. I Have been married for a year and 5 months and 11 weeks ago gave birth to a beautiful daughter. My problem is that my husband has been lying to me for a while and I dont know what to do about it. Just today he called me from work and told me that his dad was giving him a laptop which is what hes been wanting for quit some time now but I thought something was fishy cause he was looking at laptops on ebay yesterday cause today is his payday. So I logged into his account and he has indeed purchased a laptop computer for $175.00 and I had also found out that he had purchased 3 other things one of which was $144.00 and another of which was $399.00 and the last was $80.00. His check was only $419.00 and he has to pay rent and the cable bill and the heat bill plus get car insurance. He made me feel bad becuse last night he told me that he wasnt sure if he would be able to pay the cable bill then he goes behind my back and get this laptop then lies to me about it. What should I do. Please Help me. I lvoe him to death but sometimes I wonder if this marriage was a lie to him and I also sometimes that that he thinks our daughter was a msitake.

Answer
Hi Angela~

You need to confront him on his lying.  Tell him you know for a fact that he's not being very honest with you.  And explain to him why you know this, that you went online and found out how much money he really spent.  It seems as though he's also living beyond his means.  He could have some sort of money spending problems.  And if he's not careful it's going to end up in financial problems later, if he doesn't watch his spending habits.  It's too easy to let spending get out of control (especially when you're buying things that you can't afford and living way beyond your means (not saying you personally, just generally speaking here)).  

You need to sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk with him.  He needs to know exactly how this is making you feel.  And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage.  Perhaps you can both come up with some sort of compromise and work these issues out. After all if he'll lie about the way he's spending money, then what else will he lie to you about and keep from you.  That's not something you can afford to ignore and not discuss with him.  If you have any further questions please feel free to ask.