QuestionHi Bill
I am 23 and going to marry a man aged 28 2 months later.
I have asked the same doubt to many other girls and women and i got same answer "do not go ahead" or" keep the marriage on hold" i want an opinion from a man so that i can understand my partner better.
We met 18 months back. started liking each others company. Initialy I felt that he too has same ideas of having fun just like me like go for riding a bycycle, trekking etc. We used to meet on every week end and go for a drive along a lake , or enjoy just talking.
He proposed to me 9 months back and we got engaged 4 months back.Parents from both sides are very happy with our choice.
to tell you some of good qualities in him are
he never tell lies.
he never tried to get any extra advantage of me
he does not flirt with other girls
in our society physical touch is usualy avoided before commitment between a boy and a girl but once people get engaged its a normal thing just like in western countries.
But the day we got engaged his behaviour has chaged.
I do not see any urge in him to meet me. reasons i get from him are like my house is too long from yours, today i have to clean my room, i have to go to meet my parents etc.
there were few situations when i felt very very deerted and unwanted because of his behaviour.
Bill please help me understand this man.
On the very next day of our engagement, i was supposed to fly to another city for an asignment which was for 3 months. My fiyance cameto see me off at the airport but did not even come inside. he left me alone there to wait for my flight for next 2 big hours while i was expecting that he would sit next to me, hug me and say me that he loves me. but it did not happen at all.
The day I returned back, i landed late in the night but he did not bother to come to receive his life partner at the airport. i was surprised to know that he indeed was with his friends at that time.
On valentine's day he asked me to have dinner with him but brought two of his friends along with him. strange.
that too he took hard drinks in front of me when he knew it very well that dislike it.
no roses ,no card, no hug , no lovely words nothing.
i felt unwanted and "insulted"
we had a big verbal fight on phone the very next day , he said he is sorry and he will give me more time now and since that day he has not come to see me.
when i told him what i felt he said that he is not very expressive and needs time to be able to express his afection towards me and that he still have the same feelings and wants to mary with me..
but the contradicting fact is that he watches blue films regularly, talks about sex and all on phone with me,then how come he feels so uncomfortable to even hold my hands even when we are alone ?
is this a natural thimg with boys Bill?
Wedding cards are going to be printed next month and I am feeling very very scared stepping into this relationship.
will I always have to beg for his attention and care rest of my life? or will he really change as he says?
AnswerWell some men have to be taught to be attentive, so tell him what you want. "Are you coming in with me?" You will be engaged for a while so teach him what you want. If he responds positively fine, if not find someone else. Not all guys are able to read a girls mind, you have to help sometimes.
Bill
