Navigating Differing Views on Parenthood: A Guide for New Couples

Question
Kiya,
i have been married for 2 moths and recently found out I'm preganant. My husband said it's too soon and doesn't want me to keep it. I've already been through 2 abortions with him and do not want to go through a 3rd. he's very upset with me...and also I am in the process of finding a new job since I relocated a week ago to join him. What do I DO?

Answer
Hi Emma,
You should never be forced to do anything that you don't want to do, even by your husband, especially if it is as important as keeping your baby. If you do things for others, you will always be weighted down with resentment. Your husband should know that he is a contributor and apparently does not have to go through what you are going through. It is different for a woman holding the child in her belly and having to lose it. There is no right time to have a baby. Everyone says that they have to wait till the right time to start a family and if a person is afraid to have a child, that time may never come. Some people think that they need to be ready financially, but unless they strike it rich, not very many people are truly set financially. If you really want to keep this baby, you are probably going to have to give him an ultimatum; the baby or you. You also may find out how much he cares and loves you if he stays. If he doesn't, then you may not have a long or happy marriage and it is good that you are finding out now. You may need to go back from where you came and get your old job back, if you can, or stay and just find a new job altogether. Then, if possible stay with friends or family, have your baby and work to keep it on your own. The state usually pays money to mothers with kids, and you could get child support. Millions of women do it, so maybe join a support group or read up on easier ways to succeed. If your husband decides to stay, he will probably instantly fall in love with the baby. Leave this one up to him. I know this answer is a little harsh, but this is a decision that WILL effect the rest of your life.
Take care and good luck!
Please write back if you need anything else.
Kiya