Navigating Relationships: From Past Experiences to Lasting Love

Question
Hello. So I have had realtionships with guys in the past and they were long lasting and good. They all eventually ended one way or another though but i knew i would eventually find a guy who i couldnt live without and be happily married. Then one day i met this girl and we both felt this strong instant connection and there was just something about her that just intrested me so much. Well eventually we started dating and our relationship lasted about 3 years. Both her and my families knew about our relationship and are fine with it. But i could never bring myself to come out with it publicly. This became a big stress so we ended it even though all the feelings are still there. Then i met this guy who seems to be everything I always wanted in a guy. But as we keep dating i just cant seem to tell myself that i really want this girl out of my life. I care about her so much and i always want to be there for her and take care of her and love her. But in the back of my mind i know i always dreamed of a wedding and kids. But I could see a life i want with either of them. So im scared that if he proposes to me one day that the first thing that will come to my mind is her. And then realize that marriage and kids within that marriage arent as important to me as true happiness with this girl. So its like be with her and try to become ok with coming out to everyone. Or be with him and hope that I become happier with him than i was with her and that him and i could have a lasting love. Any advice would be so great thank you!

Answer
Hi Cassy~

What is it that YOU want?  If this other woman turns out to be the love of your life, and you let her get away over a few differences, is it worth being with a man and being only marginally happy in life?  This is something that only you can decide for yourself.  Do you prefer one gender over another?  Maybe you need to be honest with him and tell him that your bi-sexual and then take it from there.  A lot of ppl can't be in a relationship with someone that's bi-sexual unless they are secure and comfortable with something like this.  Besides, you're putting the cart ahead of the horse here.  When it comes to worrying about him proposing to you.  You can deal with that if/when the time comes.  I think you need to focus on one thing right now and take your time to figure out what you want in life.  

I don't think you'll become happier as time goes on if you're with a man and get married and have children.  It might make you that much more miserable, b/c then you'll have to deal with being unhappy, and constantly wondering why you gave up the woman you love and could see yourself with.  You need to do what's right for you and what makes you happy.  You can't compare him with this other woman, it's like comparing night and day.  Men have a certain genetic make up that they can't really relate or get what a woman goes through and needs/wants in life.   

You don't know if there will even become anything with this man or if you'll even have a future in the long run with him.  Only time will truly tell what's going to happen in life for you.  You only live once and you don't want to end up regretting it b/c you didn't pursue what you feel is/or could be the love of your life.  Live life one day at a time and see where things go and if it's meant to be with her, then things will eventually work out, but you have to let her know and try to work it out with her.  If that's truly what you feel you want and need in life (meaning if you want to spend your life with her and be happy).