Understanding Prenuptial Agreements: What You Need to Know

Question
Hi. I just recently go engaged to a very wealthy man. I'm afraid that he might ask me to sign a pre-nuptial agreement and I am COMPLETELY against that. I don't want my marriage to feel like a business arrangement. I believe that when one person asks someone else to sign something like that it is like telling them you love them, but you don't trust them and if that is the case you don't need to get married. My question is, what should I do if he asks me? I don't want to miss the chance to marry the love of my life because of something like this.

Answer
Dear Danielle,

You are certainly not alone in your feelings and slowly people are learning that a prenup is not about how the person with the money can keep it all to themselves.

So much can happen in life that you cannot plan for. I'm sure that you know that the statistic of 50% of all marriages end in divorce still stands. With that kind of statistic why leave your marriage up to your state to define (legally). When you marry you are bound by the laws of your state- whether you agree with them or not.

By placing, in writing you legal and financial agreement, you are defining your own legal and financial aspects of your marriage.

I encourage you to open and honest about each others finances (it's the number 1 cause of marital arguments). I have been working with a this non profit for 4 years and I hear everyday how important it is to darw up a prenuptial agreement- NOT just for the money  but for the conversation that creating one begs of you both to answer.

I invite you to visit equalityinmarriage.org and to read the articles they have on their website about prenups and must- have conversations. They also have a guidebook called The Commitment Conversation that will help guide the two of you through the toughest conversations about marriage- money, family, lifestyles and goals.

You can still have a fairytale wedding and a smart. long lasting marriage. If you would like to talk about it further please feel free to call me at 212-489-5590- no fees at all, I work for a non profit.

I hope this answer was of some assistance.

P.S. you may want to check out the lastest Worth Mag- it has 4 page article on exactly what you are questioning!

Thank you very much for your patience.