Questionmy husband went on vacation and my father took him to a strip club and bought him a lap dance. i feel hes cheated and gone outside the bounds of our marriage i've put up with his lies and now i have the image of another woman all over his body i kicked him out but were now trying to work it out how do i truely forgive him and stop being so angry
AnswerHi Stacy~
If I'm understanding the whole conception of this, then perhaps you overreacted a bit by kicking him out over a simple lap dance. After all if was your father who did it for him. Maybe your husband didn't want to be rude and refuse your dad's offer of the lap dance. So he obliged and accepted it. He didn't cheat on you by having a lap dance. It seems as it was more that your feelings were hurt. And if he lied to you about the lap dance you felt you were betrayed b/c he lied to you about it.
You have every right to be upset and angry over the lap dance. I think just about any woman in general would be upset by this happening (if they were in your position). It's almost like a slap in the face, if you weren't ever expecting something like this to happen.
You have to find it in your heart to forgive him, and give him the benefit of doubt that he didn't cheat, and it was purely innocent. I can totally see where you are coming from though (on why your mad and upset with him for doing this). But if he's never given you any reason to mistrust him, then forgive him, forget it, and move on with your life. It's not worth jeopardizing the marriage b/c you got jealous over another woman giving your husband a lap dance.
I would suggest that you sit down with your husband and have a serious heart to heart talk with him. Tell him exactly how this made you feel, and how it really hurt your feelings. When you do this though, do it in a nonconfrontational way. If you do it while you're angry then he's going to clam up, become defensive and refuse to talk about it. Communication is key in any relationship. You must keep the communication lines open in a marriage. If you don't have communication you don't have much of a marriage. And that can lead to problems, fights, etc.
If you still are having a hard time getting over this, then I would recommend that you seek counseling, so that you can get over this anger and learn to deal with these feelings and help you to get over this.
If you have any further questions please feel free to ask.
