QuestionMy question is this. My husband is an over the road truck driver he's only home 4 day's during the month. We have been married for 5 1/2 yrs together for 10 yrs. We have a 8 yr old daughter together and he has a 9 yr old daughter from previous marriage. My problem is that he is still trying to make thing's go "easy" with his ex and it's starting to get in the way of our marriage. He ask me what my opinion is then when I give it he doesn't like it, I end up being the "bad guy" so to speak. The older daughter doesnt want anything to do with us. I never feel like I'm put first in our marriage he say's he told me from the begining his children would always be first me last. I thought then I could do it but I realize now that I just can't be last all the time. I don't like being alone it's like being single with a husband only 4 day's a month. I love him dearly but I am tired of living this way. He won't change job's. and the weekend he is here he wants to combine it with us and his first daughter and end up making the whole weekend about her and not us. We deserve one on one with him I think so too. Am I wrong for the way I feel? I don't work I'm a stay at home mom with our daughter the older daughter lives with her mom. When money goes haywire I'm always told that I don't contribute to the finances so he has final say so. Why is that? I feel as if I'm a single mom and if that's the way it's gonna be then as bad as it sound's I believe that's what it is gotta be. Please respond thanks Tina
AnswerHello Tina,
It's time to get a job.He is gone all the time and your daughter is in school.This will also give you money to help with the bills.Put it in a separate account of your own.You will have the final say as to how you spend your money.
As to one on one with him,yes you do deserve it but so does his other daughter.If he is home only 4 days a month,try spending at least one of those days with just the immediate family.I understand where you are at,but being married to a truck driver is a very hard life emotionally for a spouse.
Also the next time he asks your opinion,tell him that you really don't have one.His ex will always be in the picture because of the child and it is better to let them work things out then be in the middle.
Truckdrivers lead a very different life then most of us.Many have been married several times because it is hard on the family to be separated so much.They usually won't change jobs because they like the freedom of being on the road.It takes a very strong and secure partner to live this way.
Try doing some volunteer work.Many hospices need people just a few hours a week to sit with a patient.Do this while your daughter is in school.Visit with your minister.Maybe there are things in the church that they need help with.
Become a Girl Scout leader or a volunteer mom with your daughter.They have excellent programs for girls.
In order for your marriage to survive,you need to be involved in outside activities.
Rita
