QuestionMy son who is 28 has been married to this women for 7 years. She has mentally abused him and their 2 children. He has tried to leave her many times. This last time he took the children and got their own 3 bedroom apartment. He got a temp. job and a DHS caregiver for the children while he was work. The wife has had many lovers and has done drugs. She can't hold down a job, she has been kicked out of housing developments, she doesn't have any friends because when they invite her to live with them they soon realize what kind of person she is. She has a Dr. for her medications but she abuses them also. She will double up on the uppers so she can get a buzz for 2 weeks and then the second half of the month she doesn't have any medication so she sleeps all the time. He mother, brother, sister, and all her relatives are afraid of her because she is crazy. They have praised my son for putting up with her all these years. My main question is this. She has no place to live right now and she has no job. My son has let her come and stay them temporally. He would like to get a divorce but he doesn't have the funds for it right now. He has tried to go the free services that they offer but they tell them since his wife had used then first years ago (to sue a landlord) they will only let her use the free service. At one time she said she would agree to a divorce only if she had joint custody. He won't agree to that. She has been written up by DHS for negligence when caring for the children while my son was at work about a year ago when they were still together. That was the straw that broke the camels back. When came to the children being hurt he put a stop to it and took them away from her.She tried to run my son and I off the road one time.I feel if any judge sees that my son has taken care of these children by himself since April 06 he will see that he is the better parent. He needs help in the most way. He just got laid off from his job, the car that he borrowed from his sister he falling apart and he doesn't have the funds to fix it, he is very depressed right now. He wants this women out of his life. The children don't even like her ages 8 and 2. Please help me find help for him. Thank you very much.
At our wits end
AnswerHello Beth,
Both of you need to write everything down that she has done and when.Any problems that were turned in to DHS also.
Put a restaining order on her and get her out of the house and away from the children.If he continues to "help" her out, the children will be taken away from both of them.
Some Salvation Army stores help out with vehicles that have been given to them.Check with your church or ministerial alliance in your area.Some will help find jobs,housing etc.
There should be legal aid in your area.They charge a minimal amount according to what you make.If you have the room,let him and the children move in with you until he can get a job.Have him apply for low income housing.It takes awhile to get in, by then he should have a job.
Absolutely no job is beneath him!! If nothing else, work at two different fast food places.If he doesn't have a job,then the court won't even consider him as a responsible caregiver to the children.
He has to quit helping her and do for the children.
Rita
