QuestionI'm 26 five been married to a 29 yr old for 3yrs been together for 5 yrs on and off before n after marriage we recently got together 4 months ago from a 9 months break up he left me, 4 months ago he ask for me back and we did so n agreed to work on are issues obviously only i meant it he's been actin n handling situations just like before and i feel like im the one doing all the work sex life has got really bad we hardly do anything we are currently not even talking we didn't even spend new years together not to mention after 12am he went out to the club with his best friend i mean im completely ignoring him at the moment n he isn't showing any worries about it, what do U guys think i should do my mind tells me to leave him n fill for divorce while my heart is still hoping he will come to his senses......
AnswerHi Nena,
I am so sorry you are having a hard time with your reconciliation. It must be really disappointing for it have turned out this way.
When I work with separated couples who are considering reconciliation, I ask that they not get back together until both parties have witnessed long-lasting change. In other words, you want to see over weeks and months that each person is working hard to be a better partner. Making couples wait helps to keep the motivation to do that work high.
When couples get back together with only a promise to do the work, I often find that one or both partners loses the motivation. It sounds to me like this has happened in your case, and when you describe what's going on it causes me to think that your husband may be too immature to be the kind of partner you want and need him to be. I wouldn't bet on him growing up and acting like a man anytime soon.
Whether or not to stay or go is your decision, and you have to make that for yourself. Just know that I don't think the chances are good that he will change in the ways you need him to. I wish I had better news.
I hope this helps.
Doctor Becky
