QuestionI am 24 years old and have been married for almost 2 years. My wife, whom I dated on and off all throughout high school and college, is a beautiful young woman whom I do love very much. We have a 3 year old daughter. My question is not so much about her, but about myself. My wife's sister has a terrible drug use problem. My wife finds it necessary to "hang out" with her everytime our daughter is away for the night, which usually envolves her coming home stoned, and I hate it. If I try and confront her about it, she has this unbelieveable way of flipping it around and making it my fault, saying things like "your such and old man" and "dont tell me who to hang out with, ill do what I want"...Things of that nature. I have tried so hard to tell her that she is messing up, as she graduates college in three months to be a teacher (ha, go figure)and she tells me how stupid I am and that Im too controlling. Am I wrong in not wanting this type of life? Isn't there someone else who thinks this is not normal behavior? Im not saying my wife has a drug problem, Im saying my wife knows I have a problem with her doing that, and still does as she pleases. What can I do to stop this?? Also, Random phone calls from her guy"friends" at work come at all hours of the night, which also really bothers me. But when I tell her I dont think other guys should be calling her, she always has some kind of answer that makes it look like im being stupid...I just dont know what to do. Someone please help...
AnswerWell if the argument "you're not setting a good example for our daughter and your prospective students" doesn't help you've got a problem. Do you have a rriend that is a cop that could give her a scare, mock arrest, etc.? As for the "boy friends", I guess with women in the workforce they are bound to have some male friends. If you tell her not to have them call, they are bound to get ahold of her when she's not home, at least you know it's phone contact now, and not physical. Just be on the watch for "unexplained abscenses," a warning sign of other kinds of involvements.
Bill
