Navigating Engagement Expectations with Parents: A Guide for Young Couples

Question
My boyfriend and I are 20 years old. We have been together for about a year now. We have discussed marriage a lot and know that it is what the two of us want. He has given me a promise ring, but he is wanting to give me an engagement ring sometime soon. When I got the promise ring, my father said that he doesn't want me getting engaged until I'm out of college, but the two of us only have a year left of college. I've tried talking to my parents about getting engaged, but they continue to tell me that we are rushing things and there is no hurry. I know my father wants my boyfriend to ask his permission to marry me, but I am the only girl in the family and the youngest. Should my boyfriend and I wait to get engaged until he can get my father's approval? Or should we just get engaged, then let my parents know the news? Any insight or advice would be very helpful.
Thank you!

Answer
As a girl, don't forget your parents are likely the ones paying for some or all of your wedding expenses, so getting their approval is crucial. Explain that your engagement can be for as long as you want, usually engagements are for a year while wedding plans are made, but no one says it can't be two years. Actually you will have a greater chance getting what you want planning that far in advance, just don't let the engagement effect your college work. Appreciate the fact that your parents want to give you more time, 20 and fairly inexperienced is a hard age to make a life long commitment. As they say, what is the hurry? If your love can't last a couple years until you are out of college and perhaps have a good job, how will it last 20 or 30? So relax and concentrate on your school work, if it's meant to be it will happen.

Bill