Communication & Intimacy After Injury: Addressing Lack of Verbal Response During Intimacy

Question
when me and the wife have sex she will not utter 1 word.before during or after. weve been married for 26 yrs. Ive ask her repeaptly to at least moan or groan alittle.but nothing happens.I like to talk about it when were finished but I always get the same respone. she rolls overs and goes to sleep  what can I say to her to get here to respond ? ty  p s  also she had her jaw out of place a few weeks ago and at her work she told some of her co workers what happen to it.she told me that someone said he knew what happened , and that her husband had her on her knees  when she told me this I ask her if it was a guy she said no it was all women there no guys around' well the next day she was telling a freind of hers what was said and I overheard her.she said it was a guy.I told her she said it was a woman then I ask her if she told him she didnt like what he said or she didnt want to hear that again she told me she didnt say a thing   should I be worried ??


Answer
Hi Forrest~

Has she always been like this during sexual intimacy?  Meaning that she's always been quiet and not said or muttered a sound or even word?  Maybe she's just like that and that's in her personality to do so.  Perhaps she doesn't feel very attractive during sex and she's become bored with it.  It's really hard to say or to pin point exactly why she's doing this.  When you do talk to her don't bring it up during or right after sex.  Instead wait and do it casually in conversation when you're both least likely to feel strange or awkward, if that makes any sense.  

I think you need to sit down with her and have a serious heart to heart talk with her.  She needs to know exactly how this is making you feel.  And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in his marriage.  Perhaps you can come up with some sort of compromise to work this issue out.  But you'll have to work together as a team.  Try to be as supportive to her as much as you can.  Tell her that if it's an issue with her having sex and you're not doing something right or that she likes you're willing to fix that too.  The important thing here is to try to be sensitive to her needs too (and vice versa).  

At this point you may not really have anything to worry about.  She was probably just embarrassed that anyone would say anything to her like they did.  Now whether it was a male or even a female co-worker that said this inappropriate remark isn't the issue here.  It was said and the remarks said to her were lewd and just down right wrong.  She should actually turn this co-worker in for making lewd and crude comments about her.  It can even constitute sexual harassment at her work (which a lot of companies nowadays have a zero tolerance for, and they very well should).  After all lewd comments can lead to other things in the work place.  Talk to her about this too, w/o getting confrontational with her.  Do it in more of a concerned way as her husband.  She'd probably be more apt to talk to you about things, if she didn't feel like she was being attacked and felt she had to defend herself from you.  At any point just talk to her and see if you can get her to talk more openly to you about things.