QuestionHi I have been married not even a year and it seems like everything is
going wrong.It seems to me like my wife want me to be someone im not
and we go back and forth she starts crying and i feel like the grouch of
the house. Shes pregnant and we have 2 kids already. I don't know what
to do im confused and tired of seeing her crying and running in the
room to be by herself.We had an argument about this dude at her job that i
knew was trying to break us up and when i found out it was true i
flipped out. He asked her is she going to leave me or not. She handled it
and told me not to say anything to let it ride and now she may lose her
job because i left a message on his cell phone saying trying to break
us up didn't work and I advise we just chill out so this wouldn't go
somewhere when we will both regret it. He let HR listen to it at the job
and my wife got in trouble being guilty by marriage. She was put on
probation and pissed off. Later that day I saw the guy in the train station
and he swung at me and a cop saw it and arrested him now my wife think
her job may be at jeopardy. I'm confused and feel like this is the end
of us what do you suggest i do?
AnswerHi Jamel~
With your wife being pregnant this is going to make her even more emotional due to the raging hormones that come with a pregnancy. Then you top it off by having marital problems and issues with a guy at her working trying to hit on her, etc. Not to mention the prospect that she might even lose her job. No wonder this is taking such a huge toll on her and you both.
No one is worth threatening or going to jail for over your wife. You have to stick together and not let this lead to the demise of the marriage. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to make this relationship work, if that means you don't have contact with this man again, then so be it. This guy is a low-life for putting your wife's job at risk. However, your wife has to take some blame in this too. As she let this go with the man flirting with her, asking her if she's going to leave you, etc. Hopefully she did handle it and ended this with this co-worker. Besides maybe it is best if she did find another job to get away from this dude. He's causing your family a lot of heartache as it is, by putting stress on your wife, your marriage, etc.
I would strongly suggest that you sit down with your wife and have a serious heart to heart talk with her. She needs to know exactly how this is affecting you. And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage. Perhaps you can both come up with some sort of compromise and work your differences out once and for all. Tell her how this all made you feel and you're sorry you lost your temper, but that you felt threatened by this man, and you're not ready to lose her. I would also urge you to consider some form marriage counseling for you and your wife. This way you can figure out what led to her flirting with this co-worker, etc. And at least you'll have tried everything within your power to save the marriage, to give it one last ditch effort. If you have any further questions please feel free to ask.
