Preserving Couple Time Before Baby Arrives: Affordable Getaway Ideas

Question
Hi there,
My husband and I are expecting our first in February and after being just him and I for the past 10 or so years, I'm trying to spend as much one on one time with him as possible. With limited finances, we're trying to do a few overnighters and day trips before the baby comes. The problem??? My husband wants to do these kinds of things with his friends too. I feel like his focus should be on us and I don't want to sacrifice being able to do everything with him if he's spending money/time out of town/long days friends...am I being selfish??? Help!

Answer
Dear Emily,
No, you are not being selfish. You want to take the vacation money you have and spend it on fun times together, just the two of you. I would set some ground rules that you both can agree on, such as, setting aside some money, just for vacations. 80% goes towards couple vacations and 20% friend vacations. Of course you would determine the numbers. I would plan out what you will be doing over the next 6 months and decide what days he will spend with his friends. He may be able to spend a day here and there with his friends without having to spend too much money. If you plan your time, then he will not throw any big surprises at you and both of you will have some dates to look forward to. If I were you, I would make him go out with his friends a few times since you never want him to resent you later. Tell him that he can have, for example, 4 day trips and 1 overnighter vacation with his friends, as long as he does not agree to last minute events with his friends, he keeps the cost within the budgeted amount and that the both of you can go somewhere at least once every other week. After the baby is born, there will be many more family vacations than friend vacations since you will both miss the baby too much to leave for very long. This is a good time to take advantage of your time with friends, as long as it does not become out of control. If it does, please write me back!
Take care and good luck!
Kiya