Question I am marry for 6 year s I been livieng
life that I do not like I live in my husband X wife s shoes
he is all time telling bout her how it a good marrgies
belive if it was he would still be marry
to her when I go any where it oh you are so so he has put me in the a places where
i can not stand it what can I do
AnswerDear Sunshine,
Thank you for contacting allexperts.com. I hope I can assist you with your question.
This is a difficult situation. It is very important to try to communicate with your husband how you feel when he makes comparisons to his ex-wife. You do not mention if you have told him that this makes you feel bad. I think that you should tell him gently that it is not fair to you to be compared with her. Everyone is different and handles matters in their own way. He cannot expect you to act the same way that another person does.
Another issue to examine is why he is doing this. Obviously, he is angry with his ex-wife and is turning this anger toward you. This is not healthy. It sounds to me as though he was hurt very badly with his previous marriage and has a lot of anger, frustration and resentment inside that he is having to deal with. Although it is difficult to understand, whenever he is critical of you or compares you to his ex-wife, he is telling you that something is causing him emotional pain, and that is how he has chosen to deal with it. This is a good opportunity for you to be kind, loving and understanding of him.
After six years of being with you it is time that your husband begins to heal from his previous relationship. He needs to learn to "let go" of the pain that his ex-wife has caused him. He needs to forgive and move on with his life. It sounds like he still has many unresolved issues that he is dealing with.
If you have any counseling services available to you, I would recommend using them. If he cannot work through these issues then you will have to learn to tolerate his behavior with the understanding that it has nothing to do with you and what you are actually doing.
Best of luck to you. I hope things work out.
R. M. French
