QuestionHello. Tomorrow I have an appointment for a medical abortion. I am 40 years old, and i have been married since dec 3, 2010, though I have been with my husband since 2008. My husband is basically forcing me to have the abortion, as he does not want a child because he says he is too old to deal with a teen later on. I have a 15 year old daughter who is o.d.d, and given us many problems. My husband and I have had our own set of problems, because i feel he is too controlling, and had hit me in the past.
I feel sick over this.
How can i come to terms with having an abortion when i really dont want to do it?
Why is it that my husband cannot feel any emotions about this?
I was raised to believe that abortion is wrong, this is destroying me.
By the way-- this will be my 3rd medical abortion. My husband told me the last time, that if i chose to keep the baby, he was leaving, would not support me, or the child, etc. I felt i had no choice.
I dont know what to do. Im 40- high risk to have a baby, and i work retail, so i can barely afford the child i have. I also pay all the bills, as my husband will not get a job.
AnswerHello, carissa,
I am so sorry you are going through this. You should NEVER have an abortion you don't want. Ever. There is no reason why you should. If your husband is not working and not contributing to the household, and he is trying to force you to submit to violence against your body, why not let him leave? You will be better off. I know you love him, but he has betrayed your love and trust. He has even been violent against you. Having an abortion is much more risky than giving birth, even when you're 40, and there is care available for high risk patients. There are 62 organizations in Michigan ready and able to help you. Since there are so many, and you didn't tell me what city you are in, you should get the information about your local organization by going to this web site:
http://www.optionline.org/
Tell your husband you are not going to have an abortion. Tell him that his threats won't cause you to change his mind. If he leaves, that's HIS action, not yours, and it just shows that he has abandoned you, which he has already.
As for your 15 year old, ask the organization to help you find services that may help. Let's talk about o.d.d.; I may be able to find you some alternative answers. If she is on any kind of psychotropic drug, that would help explain it. She may also have toxins stored in her body from things like immunizations and other sources, or may be getting them in her food. It also sounds like good discipline would help, and I can offer suggestions.
Please don't let your husband force you to hurt yourself. Please keep in touch. I want to work with you until you find an answer. Please stay safe!
