Marine Corps Policy & Separation: Navigating Marital Issues and IG Complaints

Question
Hi
My husband and I are currrently separated (not living in the same house) we will be legally separated in Dec 2009.  He is living withhis girlfriend and his command knows this (but of course shes just a friend) He told them he was renting from her. We are still legally married.  Also I have asked for a DNA test be done on him and his former g/f and they denied it again all facts point straight to him being the father. There was an IG complaint filed and of course all they found was fraternization (no pics for adultry) but TONS of Skype messages emails etc.  His command will no longer talk to me as I have become  a "bother" to them and won't go away.  They will not tell me what his "punishment" is and I am the one who filed the complaint.  Truthfully I don't think he has been punished for it yet and it has been 4 months since the investigation.
I need help in pointing me in the right direction as to who to talk to regarding the outcome of the investigation as well as getting a DNA test done.  We both have attorneys (civilian).

Thank you

Answer
Kelly,

I am sorry for your troubles -- but I am not qualified to answer this question as I am a Marriage and Family Therapist and not a legal or military expert. Please contact an expert in those fields to get your question answered.

I did, however, want to comment on your pursuit for justice in this matter. I understand that your husband has broken military and marital rules, and that your marriage is all but over, but I urge you to stop spending so much energy to have your husband punished and brought to justice, and instead, focus on your own health, healing, and well-being. This scene that you have put yourself in cannot possibly be healthy for you. Yes, the others did wrong, but what good does it do for you to bring them down? Why not let karma take its course and just focus on you and moving in a positive direction? The other thing that concerns me is that the more you pursue, the more your husband will look like the sympathetic character in this story. Why not release and put all that energy and focus on something that will benefit you?

I hope this helps -- good luck to you.

Doctor Becky