Questionhi,
I have been married for a year and eight months.I feel that I am the only one that initiates sex. My husband will do it once I initiate, but he'll never be the first to make any advances. And sometimes when I am on top he will go limp, I get upset but he states, that it is my fault for not being in the mood!Plus, he wont give oral sex, but he is more than happy to receive it. I have voiced my concern, but he still makes no changes. I've tried to hold back and not initiate, but then we just go for days/weeks without any. What should i do?
AnswerHi Giselle,
Thank you for writing. Wow -- your question is really, really tough. There are so many things to consider ... from ... physical and mental health and/or biologically based concerns, could he have been molested as a child, is he gay, is he attracted to you, does he have too much going on that might be causing him anxiety and worry or depression, has the change of marriage affected his emotional and psychological health, and a few other things. Your issue is huge, and I would absolutely address it in a marriage counselor's office. This is the type of thing that if it is not dealt with in the healthiest way, and somehow resolved, I would predict that eventually you will have an affair. Your husband needs to understand how grave and serious this issue is. It should NOT kept on the back burner, that's for sure. I will say that having this issue so so early into the marriage causes me to be very concerned for you. Please do your research and find a great therapist, because you are going to need the most talented one in your area to help you deal with this sensitive and tough issue.
I hope this helps. Good luck, dear.
Doctor Becky
